Yesterday, i waited for him till closing.
when we were alone, i asked him 'why did you say those things to me that day on the bus?' and he said he don't know why either. it just came naturally.
then i ask 'if you were to go back to China tmr, does it mean our relationship ends tonight?' and he slightly nodded his head.
then he said something about getting PR and etc. but i just can't get it in my head.
he said he wish to bring me over, but he knew after few months i'll be sure to miss Singapore.
and during the walk with him to bus interchange, it felt so distant...
our walking distance between each other was not close, it's apart...
our walking speed ain't the same with each other anymore...
i'm walking behind and he's walking infront...
he never placed his arm on my shoulder while walking anymore...
he said 'right from the start, he didn't harbour much hope that we would be together for long.' and he asked me 'did you think and have the hope that we would be together for long?' and i truthfully told him 'no, i know we won't be together for long.' and we went silent again.
i can see...that he's feeling vexed and frustrated about this as well...
and when the bus came, i didn't board it..
i told him i'm meeting a friend and before he went off, i requested for a hug from him..
he hugged me tight, but still...it feels so distant...so distant that i felt like crying...
headed back to tamp1 and weihoong called so i went to meet him at mac instead of being with winnie, jovey and hua.
i know they specially stayed back to wait for me, but i don't wish to be a burden to them..


today...chatted with meimei regarding him before i start work.
and when she knew we didn't go out with each other often, she was shocked..
then she said me and him should really sit down and have a talk and sort things out properly,and to see if he really loves me and treat me truly..
we...didn't have much eye contact or w/e during work..
durring my break, went to find kianwei yuanfong and boonhao.
ate at FISH and yeah.
end work and i thought he'll be waiting for me.
really, i THOUGHT he'll be waiting for me at toastbox.
so after i changed i told winnie i go first.

then when i packing my bag, dominic (the phillipino guy from toastbox) walked past and say 'liyi never wait for you ah?' and i thought i hear wrongly/he teasing me. so i just said 'how i know him.' then he said 'liyi already went off.' and i knew this time he ain't joking.
so i walked past toastbox, indeed he went off already... my whole heart sank, like seriously...
walked very slowly to the bus interchange, hoping that he actually took the bus and left already.. 'cause i seriously don't know how to face him and talk to him if we were to meet..
who knows, he's still waiting for bus...
and he sort of waved to me so i walked over.. and all went silent...
he was sitting down, i was standing up...
it felt really really distant, very distant from each other...
and i guess fate's not with us..
'cause tmr he'll be working morning, i'll be off.
wed he off i'm working afternoon. thur i work morning, he work noon..
boarded the bus and we ain't sitting close to each other like we usually did..
after i reached home, i cried.. especially after seeing the sms weihoong sent me..
i know he meant me good, don't wish for me to get hurt.. but those words he sent, really pricks my heart..
it's as though he wants to use sarcasm on me so that i will leave spoon..
i really don't know what to do now...
i'm feeling very lost...
i regretted saying and asking him those questions...
i want to turn back time so we can be happy together again...

오전 12:17