headed to tamp1 and met with winnie.
he greeted me when he saw me walking.
ate at teadot and slacked there with winnie.
evening time headed down to icing room and slacked there till night time.
intend to eat curry chicken for dinner but no seats for us.
end up wait till night time their closing and got free curry chicken.

me and winnie was standing outside watching dom take our servings.
then he prepared water for us.
he didn't pass the glass of water to me, but to winnie for her to pass to me.
then when sitted, he was seating quite far from us at first.
then dom ask him join us and instead of sitting beside me, he sat beside opposite me.
during that moment when we're eating, we didn't interact with each other.
then they ate finish first.
then dom they all went off first and we say goodbye to them.
then i use my phone to type 'he left alr right?' and show winnie.
then she looked over and nodded her head.
i admit, she's right. that i was almost crying out. but 'cause their head is still with us, i can't do it.
then we headed to bus interchange and while i'm waiting for my bus, i really can't take it anymore.

after reaching home,
instead of crying at home,
i changed my pants and put on sports shoe and ran down to jog.
while running, those times with him right from the start ran through my mind.
ALL the things we did together, the things he did for me and the way he treats me.
the sense of love he gave me and the sense of security he gave me.
all ran through my mind and unknowingly, i cried.
i sat down at the bench and cried and think and cried again.
why did it turn out to be like this now?

he's avoiding me.
that's definite already.
winnie said perhaps he knows this is for the best of me.
if avoiding is really what he wanted,
then i won't let him be the only one avoiding me forever.
i'll play along, i'll avoid him as well so that he's not alone in this.
if avoiding me can make him feel better, then i'll avoid him as well.
if avoiding really make him feel better.... i don't mind....
i will play along, even if it means that i'll have to lose him forever.....
if only this will make him happy, i don't mind.

오전 12:46